Cuz I'm representin' stupid babies~
What would you do if you heard the earth was going to end tomorrow?
Anonymous

Your mom

glitches-and-keys:

swaggeratlaw:

 

……………

'R you some kinda french?

oui, mon ami, je suis en effet hahahaha. you, euh, psychic too?

m’half french to, uh, nail out the nitty gritty.

I ain’t gonna pay you in baguettes I hope that’s okay. I dunno how you people work.

glitches-and-keys:

swaggeratlaw:

-glares at phone-

I’ll have my secretary call ya. 

I don’t memorize addresses. 

course~ /tries to keep from laughing/ hold up, y’don’t even have m’number…’less your secretary’s psychic, she’s not gonna be able to call. 

……………

'R you some kinda french?

glitches-and-keys:

swaggeratlaw:

Eugh„, yeah well I just ate a giant ass burrito so I ain’t doin’ any computer work tonight. Can you just come to my office tomorrow and take a gand-…. look?

yeah, course. just give me the, uh, time n’ place..don’ get in til noon but anytime after works fine for me.

/grins at speech shift/ aww, mon ami, your southern’s far out, no need to, uh, think it out

….Attention, mon ami et see now, what it sounds like for me t’be hittin’ on ya.

-glares at phone-

I’ll have my secretary call ya. 

I don’t memorize addresses. 

glitches-and-keys:

swaggeratlaw:

 

Are you hitting on me?

/laughs/ ohhh, mon ami, if I was, uh, hittin’ on you, you would definitely know

/starts twisting back and forth in swivel chair and keeps tinkering/ nah, just, euh, sounds like something I can’t walk ya through over the airwaves, catch my drift?

Eugh„, yeah well I just ate a giant ass burrito so I ain’t doin’ any computer work tonight. Can you just come to my office tomorrow and take a gand-…. look?

glitches-and-keys:

swaggeratlaw:

 

Do I look like a fucking computer tech to you? I dunno what half the nerd language you just said was. It ain’t workin’ and I need it to work. Can you fix it?

…well, i, uh…don’ really know what you, euh, look like, mon ami but…sounds a fix that may, uh, need a trip. /swallows and pushes lollipop against inside of cheek/ 

Want me t’swing by for a visit?

Are you hitting on me?

glitches-and-keys:

swaggeratlaw:

 

I think I broke my laptop I mean… it’s in one piece but like… it ain’t turnin’ on or nothin….

I sat on it. Twice.

/leans back and listens/ ..ok, euh…. first thing’s first— is the battery, uh, charged? /keeps tinkering with circuit board/ 

cause, heh, normally sittin’ isn’t really cause for alarm, mon ami.

Do I look like a fucking computer tech to you? I dunno what half the nerd language you just said was. It ain’t workin’ and I need it to work. Can you fix it?

glitches-and-keys:

swaggeratlaw:

-clears throat-

Okay okay I gotta calm down. Ahem…

-speaks softer-

My big dick smashed my laptop.

……….right.

Well, sir, I’m gonna go ahead and put you to../glances over at Cody/ …our specialist.

'EY CODY! YOU GOT A TECH REPAIR CALL /goes over and taps shoulder/ 

!!! 

/starts and stares up/ 

tech call. this might take awhile, says he broke his hardware with his dick /rolls eyes/ 

/snorts a bit/ 

your problem now. 

/shakes head and takes phone, pressing against ear with shoulder/ Salut~, mon ami what, euh, seems to be the issue?

I think I broke my laptop I mean… it’s in one piece but like… it ain’t turnin’ on or nothin….

I sat on it. Twice.

Hey at least now you have an excuse to buy some ridiculously expensive computer and write it off as a work expense.
Anonymous

Fucking great idea By the way, happy late Hanukkah, buddy.

glitches-and-keys:

swaggeratlaw replied to your post:-phone rings-
-YELLING INTO PHONE- MY BIG DICK SMASHED MY LAPTOP!

!!!! /immediately brings phone away from ear/ ….. /puts phone back to ear but farther away/ I’m sorry…what?

/Cody pushes and rolls across back room/ /turns and starts typing on another keyboard/ /licks lip and switches lollipop to other side of mouth with tongue/ 

-clears throat-

Okay okay I gotta calm down. Ahem…

-speaks softer-

My big dick smashed my laptop.